Monday, July 09, 2007

Reality vs. Leila V.

The long anticipated, three-round, heavy weight bout was scheduled to take place on Friday, in the lovely, and oh so preppy, ocean-side city of Marin, California. Leila V. headed out that morning with her trainer, Rey Ramirez, as Reality laid in wait for the first round, aka the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, to begin. Saturday would bring the most important round of the bout, the actual wedding ceremony, with more than two hundred spectators. And Sunday would wrap it up with a scheduled post-wedding brunch.

Leila “The Hallucinator” Vine received a vicious left hook to the jaw in round one, when the Ring Girl, read Maid of Honor, was not the stunning, voluptuous, young girl she had pictured. It looked like her trainer wouldn’t be drooling from her corner as she’d predicted in interviews leading up to the event.

Before Vine could gain composure from the previous blow to the jaw, Reality dealt a brutal body shot as the rehearsal dinner panned out to be a low key, pleasant time with flowing liquor and un-intrusive people. Reality won the judges over at the end of the round with several after-dinner drinks with the wedding party.

“The Hallucinator” was met in round two with a low blow as she calmly handled the fact that her trainer, Ramirez, was nowhere to be found, read getting ready with the groom. With Reality’s strong start, Vine should have anticipated the knockout that left her looking like a part of the crowd, instead of the main event.

Since the fight was stopped, read brunch was cancelled, Leila V. limped solemnly out of the oh so preppy, ocean-side Marin, after getting a serious ass kickin’ by a thoroughly good time.


Trish said...

Welcome back, Leila. Glad you had a good time after all. (Or is sympathy the appropriate response?)

Leila V. said...

Thanks, Trish. It's good to be back, even though I did have a good time in spite of myself.

Lacy H. said...


Anonymous said...

I read your blog from time to time. I have to say, at 22, you are an excellent and creative writer.

As far as the wedding, the reality is never as bad as what we think it will be. Our minds make us crazy! That goes for your swollen lymph nodes too. I'm sure it will all turn out fine. Best wishes.

Sean said...

Awesome Leila! You're my heroine. Not the kind you take intravenous, either! Glad you enjoyed yourself.

Leila V. said...

You forgot witty and humorous. I'm kidding of course, you're much too generous. And very right about reality never being as bad as our imaginations.

How does that song go? "Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy."

Thanks, Sean. But what are you trying to say, I'm not addictive or in demand?

BTW: Glad you're not dead!

Addie said...

Oh addictive one,
I'm so glad to hear that the wedding was fun for you. It's amazing how much we psych ourselves up for things to turn out negatively only to find out that the reality is not anywhere in the same ballpark as our imaginations. Good for you!!

Barbora said...

Yeaah! So glad the wedding went ok!