Thursday, July 19, 2007

Judgment Day

“The nurse will call you between 8:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. tomorrow.”

I can’t get those words out of my mind.


I keep telling myself that if the blood test had revealed lymphoma, or some other horrible disease, the nurse wouldn’t tell me over the phone. At least I’d hope not. But, I’m completely making that up, because if the blood test really hadn’t revealed anything, my little “you’re okay” postcard from the doctor would be on it’s way to my mailbox as we speak. But instead, I’m getting a call? I’ve never gotten a call regarding a test in my life. I want my postcard!


I’m silently dying over here. I eat, breathe and drink lymphoma. I’m convinced that my face is swollen from the spillage of toxins that my lymph nodes can’t filter. I’m overly sensitive to touch all through my neck and face. I can barely walk.


I’m dying. I know it. Tomorrow it will be confirmed.


Excuse me while I go pray.

7 comments:

tournesol said...

I know how you feel, I HATE, HATE, HATE waiting for test results. At least things are faster these days. I remember waiting 2 weeks and more in the past.

Addie said...

L-
Don't worry! (I know, stupid thing to say) My doctor always calls with results, good or bad. Even with the routine bloodwork from my last physical I got a call which ran down all the "normal" results and the one thing I had to change (good cholesterol was too low). The only time I get results in the mail is for PAP tests. I'll be thinking about you this morning, hang in there!! Let us know as soon as you hear!
Addie

Lacy H. said...

I always get calls too, Leila, but I'll be here praying for you in the meantime, to have some peace.

We can't control what happens to us, but we can control our response to it...

Let us know when you know.

Anonymous said...

Believe me, from one seasoned hypochondriac to another, I feel your pain. I'm not gonna tell you not to worry because to us, those are just words. They don't mean shit. But I do have a question: if my aunt had balls, would she be my uncle?

Hey, bad jokes can take the edge off for a FEW seconds.

Barbora said...

I’ve had test results come by phone and by mail…and I’ve even had to go into the office in person to receive test results on two occasions. I remember one time when I had to go into the office and had to wait and wait and wait. By the time I was called in, I was CERTAIN it COULDN’T be good news (otherwise they would have whisked me in and out).

It turned out to be nothing.

I wouldn’t want to do it again!

Nikole said...

Oh Leila,
I can only hope they actually called when they were supposed to and did not leave you hanging over the weekend.

:)

Debaser said...

What's going on, Leila? Did they call? Christ, now you've got me worried.