Sunday, January 07, 2007

A Keen Eye for the Obvious


Is your hypo-cred in doubt? This in-depth test will clear things right up. Here’s a peek at mine:
  1. Do you worry about your health more than most people do? Yes/No

Not at all. Unless by “worry” you mean checking for my pulse 48 times a day and freaking out when my temperature is two-tenths of a degree higher/lower than normal.

  1. If you've been ill and someone tells you you're looking better, do you feel annoyed? Yes/No

Like when I’m in the midst of a heart attack or suffering from bird flu and my boyfriend says I’m fine and calls me a sissy? Slightly.

  1. Are you bothered by many aches and pains? Yes/No

Just the everyday lung pains and stabbing sensations in the head and chest…but, it’s more the numbness and dizziness that scare me.

  1. Do you think there is something seriously wrong with your body? Yes/No

Only if you think MS, Breast Cancer and Brain Tumors fall under the category of serious.

  1. Do you spend most of your time thinking about yourself and your health, rather than other people or things?

I’m the sick one, shouldn’t they be thinking about me?

  1. Do you feel that other people are not paying enough attention to your illnesses?

I’m still in the closet.

  1. Do you think the doctor is lying when he/she tells you there is nothing wrong with you? Yes/No

Hmmm, I wouldn’t say lying. More like guessing.

  1. If you hear about a disease, are you afraid of getting it? Yes/No

Not until I get the symptoms.

  1. Do you worry often that you may have a serious illness? Yes/No

I would describe it more as obsessing.

  1. Do you have many different types of symptoms? Yes/No

As many as my diseases call for.

Thanks guys, but it’s not the diagnosis I’m having trouble with; it’s the solution.

12 comments:

Lacy said...

Leila....

so...you obviously hate the hypo shuffle, as we all do. What have you found that is providing you relief from it? Anything?

Lacy said...

dude...I check my pusle compulsively too. Why do we do that? Looking for a blip? And is it sick that I get an intense joy when I hear a skip in my husband's heart beat when my head is on his chest....

is that demented, or does misery just love company?

CffShpGrl said...

lmao I really enjoyed this post and needed the smile. Just knowing that there are other people like me out there makes me feel a little more sane. It gets better! Wait until you are in your late 30's and hormones change. lol.

Anonymous said...

My God! I thought I must have taken that test & written those responses myself & not remembered it (do I now have to add alzheimer's to my list of diseases?), because you & I are exactly the same, even down the the diseases we obsess about! Glad to know I'm not the only crazy one. Is there help?

Leila V. said...

lol! Glad to know I'm not the only citizen of crazy town. I highly, highly recommend starting a blog. It's done wonders for my mental health, (and it's free). ;)

Trippincherri said...

OMG I too suffer from hypo and thought this post was friggin hilarious.
I totally understand.

Anonymous said...

Im sitting in my daughters room laughing hysterically.Ive had ms,throat cancer,many types of skin ca,brain tumors,lou g...and many more.The worst thing is Im an RN so i know symptoms of most diseases with out looking them up.kept checking my neck last night cuz my new concern is swollen nodes and leukemia.felt a lump and finally figured out 2 hrs later it WAS MY ARTERY!im so sick of this!i have 4 daughters that I obsess over also.had 3 mris for MS and i still dont believe them.AND I KNOW THE DOC PERSONALLY!

Anonymous said...

Do you take pride in being a severe hypochondriac? There's a difference between a solution and a reason, I can't tell if you've realized that.

dbandkk@yahoo.com said...

Good Lord, you are funny. I was literally laughing out loud at your test results because they are exactly me! I've never posted to anything before but had to when I found your blog. Please keep writing. It just might give me a little perspective. And maybe, just maybe, I can believe that the lingering pain from having my last wisdom tooth pulled a week ago is not an infection that is coursing through my body this very moment because surely I am immune to the antibiotics.

Tom said...

Ok, not alone. I walked around for 2 weeks certain that I was running a low grade fever - without ever checking it with a thermometer! While at work, I finally worked up the nerve to head down to the drug store to buy one. I came back to the office, went in to the restroom stall and took my temp. Normal! About every 20 minutes I rechecked, as each time I was certain that I now had a fever. This routine went on for weeks, as I carried around my digital thermometer in my breast pocket and made a dozen or so trips to the restroom each day to check. This is just one of my many obsessions. Tom

Pardeep Kaur said...

I am the ONLY 16 year old hypho. Promise. Sometimes i don't know if i should confront it with humor or emotions, i mean really, you spend an hour in the shower rehearsing your college speech about your struggle with hypochondria when all of a sudden your heart stops, then you reach for the inhaler. IN other words, can we get anything done without feeling like we have it coming for us?...i mean, yea, some of my fears are justified, i have allergies and mild asthma, but what about the blackouts and pains in my stomach? ha, I once even thought i was pregnant, some weird pregnancy that occurs without having sex...or a male. Or maybe that time when i thought i had a brain tumor.

-confessions of a teen hypochondriac, (blog coming soon)...if i don't die before that.

Anonymous said...

You are FUNNY! Thanks for this.