Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Chew Toy, Please

I’m teething. The day has brought unceasing pain behind my bottom, left molar. The whole area is sensitive and my gum is peely (yes, peely is a word), from the daunting pressure below. These symptoms lead to only one conclusion: wisdom teeth.

I’ll be forced to endure the pain of giant molars forcing their way into my already crowded mouth, only to have them ripped from my skull by a conniving, greedy dentist. Or, wait, they’ve already been ripped—actually, dug is a more appropriate word—from my skull. How could I forget! It was just a couple months before I had my jaw broken, reset and wired shut to cure an under bite.

So seeing as I’ve already been fully assaulted by the dentist and robbed of any spare teeth at a very young age, I’m at a loss. If not wisdom teeth, then what?

Murderous infection? Bug cocoon from licking envelopes (which I never do by the way)? TMJ surgery gone bad? Gum disease? Coffee burn? Lymphoma?


Sean said...

TMJ surgery? Do elaborate.

And why would you get them there wisdom teeths pulled or dugged? And yes, teeths is a word (though likely not a real one).

I never had my wisdom teeths removed. Is my mouth crowded? Maybe, I'm not telling. Let's just say, I'm all the more wiser because I didn't have to sit in a dentist's chair and have shit yanked from my fucking skull... then have my insurance company billed for it later. I bet you all them dentists still have their wisdom teeth. That's how they know enough to suggest they remove yours! It's the biggest of all the dental conspiracies.

Addie said...

LOL, Sean :O)

It could be as simple as something you ate yesterday that scratched the gums in the back of your mouth. Sometimes if I floss a little over exuberantly I have massive swelling and pain behind my back teeth. Hope it's better soon!!

Heather said...

Could be a small gum infection. They're really common. Gargle with salt water and it should clear up.

Good excuse for a new toothbrush.

Heather said...

Have you read this blog ever?

Very funny mammogram post.


Debaser said...

Could be sinuses! Take an OTC sinus pill or even a couple of advil and I bet it goes away.

I still have my wisdom tooths.

Leila V. said...

I thought I did elaborate, I had wisdom teeth dug out early just so I could have my jaw broke then wired shut. Although I have been meaning to post the pictures of the screws I have in my face. I’ll try to scan them in next week.

And teeths is definitely a word.

I’m praying you’re right, but seeing as the diet I’m on allows me only mush, I doubt I scratched anything, (but a girl can hope).

That post was awesome! I love the play-doh boob, the Godzilla in the hospital robe and the cow on the anvil, on the flour, on the dump truck, on the boob, on the mouse pad. Pure genius! Thanks for the link!

Not a bad suggestion, but I think I’m immune to Advil, I must have taken at least thirty this weekend, (no joke).

Oh, and tooths is definitely a word too.