Monday, July 02, 2007

Girlfriend of the Best Man

Rey’s super cool, super tattooed, super full of himself cousin from San Francisco is getting married this weekend to a super un-cool, super blonde, super annoying chick from the boondocks. That was somewhat harsh, but I don’t care because Rey has been chosen as the Best Man for this two-hundred plus person production, I mean wedding, and that really sucks ass for me. And Rey too, I guess, but whatever, it’s partially his fault, and this wedding is not about him.

Rey being Best Man means he will spend all day, prior to the evening wedding, with the Groom, instead of me. It means that I will have to sit by myself during the ceremony in a sea of two-hundred plus people that I don’t know. It means that I will also eat dinner by myself at a table of—you guessed it—people that I don’t know. It means that I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack just writing about this damn wedding!

But most importantly, it means that Rey’s first walk down the aisle will be with the Bride’s sister on his arm. Charming.

Weddings suck in general, as far as I’m concerned. The dancing, the fake pleasantries, the bouquet toss...they’re all anxiety-inducing events I can do without. But this! This is taking it to a whole new level!

Have I mentioned the world revolves around me?


Barbora said...

Open bar?

Nikole said...

My thoughts exactly!

Leila - I take you the back pain subsided?

If anything, you can get drunk at look at how handsome Rey is in a tux! :)

Good Luck!!

Nikole said...

Ok, the OCD is back :)

I take "it" the back pain is gone..

And all boys are handsome in tuxes, that is pending they have all their teeth and no mullet.. From the pics I think you're safe with Rey.

Leila V. said...

You guys know me too well! I'll definitely be at the bar, or keg, or whatever else it might be.

And the back pain isn't better, it's now accompanied by periodic convulsive twitching. I'm a wreck.

Don't you hate the way you always notice the typos as soon as you hit send! I want to kill myself when it happens at work!

Debaser said...

I don't go to weddings. My best friend got married and, of course, wanted me to be the best man. I told him I'd have none of it.

Someday I'll probably get married, I guess. It'll be in one of those Vegas wedding huts or in front of a JP, though. I can't stand pomped up bullshit. There are a lot of things I don't like that I can deal with, but I HATE weddings.

I used to photograph them for a living. That might have something to do with it.

My advice? Get drunk and ruin the whole damn thing.

Leila V. said...

I'm with you. In the unlikely event that I ever do get married, it will be one of those quickie, no guest weddings. I hate pony shows.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally with you too. My boyfriend's brother is getting married, they're spending more than what they earn in a year for the wedding and get what?... I'M NOT GOING! I refuse to take part in a ridiculous event like this.

Has no-one thought of this before? Why oh why do they do this to people who have never done anything to them!?