Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Big Snip

I’m getting a haircut today at 5:30 p.m., at the Aqua Salon. For a normal girl this would be an exciting event, or maybe a non-event, I don’t know because I’m not a normal girl.

Unless you count a ¼” trim over the sink in a bathroom a “haircut,” I haven’t had one in over four years. Needless to say, I’m more than past due. And more anxious than I should be.

Long hair has always been a part of my identity. You know, “Leila, the short girl with the long hair.”
It’s not as if I have a huge mass draping below my knees, but it hangs nicely, several inches above my waist. People often stop me in public to tell me I have “beautiful hair.” Part of me feels like if I alter it anyway, I loose some of, or all of, that beauty.

I think subconsciously I believe my hair is my finest physical trait. I don’t have big breasts, but I have nice hair. I’m not tall or super skinny, but I have nice hair. I’m not the trendiest chick, but I have nice hair. Did I mention I have nice hair!

I want to be freed from the notion that my worth is connected to the length of my hair. I want to be freed from the low self-esteem that grips me so tightly. Short hair or long hair, it’s all the same, neither changes who I am inside.

Assuming all goes well, pictures to follow shortly...

5 comments:

Sean said...

A-mazing! I love hair... which is why I'm so displeased with my life (male pattern baldness is the mother of all bitches!).

But here's the kicker... I LOVE women with short hair cuts. I think they are fine specimens. You can appreciate the beauty of a woman's face when not distracted by long flowing locks. Agreed? Agreed! So go, forthwith, into that comfortable place of short[er] hair, wher beauty is nothing more than who you are.

Why do I feel so poe-fucking-etic?

Anyways, I can't wait forthe pics. It's like you're my i-Sister. What a loser I've become!

Addie said...

Good luck with the haircut! I rarely trust anyone to cut my hair because out of the 4 haircuts I've gotten over the last 15 years or so, 2 have been decent and 2 have been horrible. I tend to grow my hair until it's so long that when I get it cut it's long enough to donate to Locks of Love. Then it's a race to get back to the point where I can put my hair in a ponytail again. Not sure why I shared that :o) Have fun freeing yourself!
Addie

alex said...

Hopefully you're getting more than an inch or two cut. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Good results will likely ensue, though I know it's easier said than done, particularly for someone with anxiety issues. Good luck.

Lacy said...

so...when I read the blog title post, my first thought was..."why is leila writing about circumcision?"

*laughs to herself.

SA D. said...

Caught your flicker pics. Your hair still looks very long, relatively speaking. And it looks so healthy. You're a lucky girl.

Just got mine cut too, this morning. It's pretty short but that's okay. I've always been pretty self-conscious about my hair because it's rather fine and had no body.

Anyway, you look marvelous Dawling!

Dave