Monday, August 13, 2007

T Minus 6 Days and a Wake Up

Seeing as this place has recently turned into Tonsillectomy Central, I thought I’d take the liberty of laying out my fears surrounding the dreaded surgery. With the procedure rapidly approaching, I find my anxiety intensifying and my days increasingly spent worrying about the following:
  • My chart will be mixed up with another patient’s and I’ll wake up with some random body part removed;
  • My doctor, due to sleep deprivation, will unwittingly butcher my throat and I’ll either die from drowning in my own blood, or excessive plasma loss;
  • The anesthesiologist will overdose me just enough to cause severe brain damage, or with my luck, death;
  • My voice will be transformed into an earsplitting squeak or raspy croak;
  • I will have a heart attack in the waiting room from my heightened anxiety;
  • My liver, so damaged from alcohol and drug consumption, won’t be able to handle the anesthesia and I’ll die on the table before they can pull out the scalpel; and
  • The facility will be unsanitary and I’ll develop a sadistic post-surgery infection that will infiltrate my brain and other vital organs.
Deep down I know the likelihood of any of these scenarios happening is minimal, but I’m becoming increasingly irrational about this procedure. My brother had brain surgery for goodness sakes; I should be able to suck it up for a forty-five minute tonsillectomy.

8 comments:

Addie said...

Leila,
You have already realized the most important thing, that "the likelihood of any of these scenarios happening is minimal" and that your thinking is irrational. Try not to fight the irrational thoughts, rather just let them be there and explore them, the more you do, the less real they will seem. That's what I would do. It also might help to write down the thoughts EVERY time you have them, because that also helps to show them for what they are: evil little buggers. I'm thinking about you and sending positive energy in your direction. Hang in there!!
Addie

Aimée said...

Best of luck on your surgery. Do you have someone that will be there with you? I have found that helps me, especially with my nerves. I love your blog and will be back again.

Debaser said...

I have a solution. Right as they're about to stick that IV in your arm, exclaim that your husband is a mafia boss and that if anything happens to you, everyone dies. They'll be extra careful, believe me!

Seriously, though, you're going to make it. Until then, get one of those big Everlast punching bags and just beat the ever loving crap out of it whenever you start feeling anxious. I'm getting one of those this weekend.

Leila V. said...

Addie:
The way you put it really flipped a switch for me. I shouldn't expect myself not to have these irrational fears, because I know it's my forte.

***
Aimee:
Thanks. Luckily, my super calm, super supportive boyfriend will be there. That is comforting.

***
Debaser:
I like the way you think! I'm so using that!

Ocosis said...

a lesson that took me a while to learn: 90% of the medical info on the Internet is total bullshit. Unless it's, like, the CDC or Merck (and perhaps sites like WebMD and Medscape) never fall into the "oh SHIT I read it online and I'm a goner!" trap. You would be shocked at how inaccurate the 'net is.

Having said that, I won't tell you not to worry. We're hypochondriacs. We don't want to hear crap like that and we're gonna worry until the very last second. So I have to be creative with my mode of support: after this totally routine surgery (note the word "after", which means you WILL wake up) you'll get to rest, you won't have to talk, and you'll probably get to eat a lot of icecream. :o)

Leila V. said...

Ocosis:
Don't even get me started on WebMD. I don't know how many times that site has sent me to the emergency room. But your right, the medical info on the net is bull shit, if only I could get myself to stop reading it.

Oh, and if I make it through to the other side, I'm gorging myself with ice cream. ;)

Lacey said...

Leila dearling, I have a happy surprise for you.

Send me your address via email, and you shall have something to get you through the ordeal!

laceyrosehuffATgmailDOTcom

Anonymous said...

you can never be too careful ... did you know that a known risk of tonsillectomy is injury to your external carotid artery?

yep, it's true

and another known risk is hemorrhage

don't believe me?

search it -- it happens

it happened to my son ... and he died

ask your doctor

good luck