I started this blog one year ago. One whole year ago! I can’t believe it, it feels like it’s only been weeks. On the other hand, at times each post has felt like a week, but I digress.
And okay, for the record, it’s been one year and three days, but who’s counting, and either way, that’s not bad for a procrastinator of the worst kind. I started this blog on a Saturday morning one year ago in an attempt to relieve the intense pain and humiliation associated with my bouts of hypochondria. What began as a personal and private attempt to beat back insanity, has morphed into a community discussion, from which I’ve drawn great support and insight.
Just one year ago, as I sat at the computer with sweaty palms and a sense of impending doom, I could barely bring myself to admit that I needed help, even though I silently knew I was slowly losing my mind. And now, today, because of this blog, and the support I’ve received through it, I’m an unapologetic hypo, with one foot out the closet door.
This year has been more rewarding than I’d ever imagined it could. While the acknowledgment of my problem hasn’t made it magically disappear, the “fits” have significantly decreased. I’ve found colossal comfort in articulating my episodes and pulling the humor from otherwise humorless situations. Many times at the onset of an attack, I’ve gone back and reread old posts that, low-and-behold, describe the same symptoms and fears I was experiencing at the time. This little corner of the blogosphere has been a great refuge for me.
But, what’s amazed me the most has been the response from people who’ve stumbled across the site and felt compelled to share their stories via email and comments. I know it sounds cliché, but it really does help just to know there are others, many others, out there in that same scary place, with those same irrational thoughts, and those same irrational fears.
And even more surprising—being the sociophobe that I am—are the bonds I’ve formed with other bloggers, namely: Lacey, Barbora, Tournesol, Addie, Dave, SA Dave, Sean and Debaser. Not to mention the frequent commenters who have provided just as much support as those who maintain their own sites. And even the readers, who don’t say a word, but keep coming back, let me know I’m not alone.
So, with death by anesthesia only twelve days away, here’s hoping I make it through another year.