Saturday, June 09, 2007

The Scientific Method Leila V. Style

Being the humanitarian that I am, I’ve decided to dedicate my Saturday to the greater good of science. I’ve planned an experiment involving forty Coors Lights and a 5’2”, 135 pound girl, (yours truly).

You see, typically, a light beer would never get within ten yards of my house, or hand. My taste for beer runs more along the lines of Sierra Nevada, Guinness, Black Butte, Newcastle and Anchor Steam, (not in that order). But, the problem is, those beers are expensive, especially when you drink them in the quantities we do around here.

Hence, the Coors Light. We were able to pickup forty bottles for $24.00. And that’s not even the kicker. They’re “cold activated bottles,” you know, the ones with the mountains that turn blue when the beer is “as cold as the Rockies!” Let me just say, I’m a sucker for good advertising, and there’s no end to the pleasure this novelty brings me. I’m actually spending more time playing with the bottles, than I am drinking the beer.

But, back to the experiment. It’s all fine and dandy that these light beers are so cheap, but can they really intoxicate me down to my bones the way a few good Guinnesses can? That’s the question, and here’s the hypothesis: It will take at least twelve beers at the rate of four to five beers an hour to get a good beer buzz, thereby making the extra dollars saved moot.

If I’m wrong, I’ll drink exclusively Coors Light, until I start making some real money of course, (or enter the twelve step program).

I’m on beer four passing the one hour mark and don’t feel a thing. Results to follow…

* * *

Update: Yesterday’s experiment was inadvertently interrupted by and unexpected nap after beer eight in the end of hour two. I will admit I felt a slight buzz prior to the nap, which lasted only an hour, but upon waking, it was completely gone, which leaves me skeptical of the power of the light beer. A nap after beer eight is typical; waking fully rejuvenated after only an hour is not. The experiment resumes this morning…


Barbora said...

I’ll drink to Scientific Method!

Seriously, you need to move to Pennsylvania! They have local breweries here that make some fine beer. They sell it by the case, in 16 oz., returnable bottles. The big, brown bottles get a little scuffed up after a while, but it’s cheaper than any of the national brands, plus you get your deposit back when you bring back the empties!

I can get three times the Stegmaier’s for the price of one case of Amstel Light.

BF just took back our empties this evening and picked up a new case. The funny thing is I got a prize in the bottom of the case…a flat razor blade! I probably don’t want to know what the previous drinkers were using it for…but I just happened to need one to clean some old paint off one of the front windows!

Damn! I’m having a good day!

Leila V. said...

I'm so jealous! Three times the amount? Next you're gonna tell me the housing is half the price.

Barbora said...

Haha! You kill me!

I will admit that wine is more expensive out here.

Sean said...

MMMmmmmmmm, Guinness!

I must say, you can't drink anything outside of Guinness full time if you expect to just pick up a Guinness again. Guinness is an acquired taste, am I wrong? To go light means to un-acquire the taste of Guinness. When, if ever, you decide to pick it back up, it'll taste like bitter crude won't it? I mean, why not consume a Guinness a week, just to keep the body sanguine and ruddy?

Addie said...

Wow..that's a lot of beer! I'm a certified lightweight who doesn't drink anymore. I did in college and never really got the appeal. Don't get me wrong, fun was had, but caffene gets the job done more than drinks. Add that to the fact that I analize my reactions to alcohol like I do with medications and you get dry Addie. Good luck with the experiments!