Well, Here's Something I Don't Tell People...

I'm the product of an affair.

My charming and classy mother revealed this to me during a druken episode when I was twelve years old. It just about ruined my world. I was traumatized. The "Dad" that I knew and loved was suddenly not my Dad at all, and my "real Dad" couldn't even be bothered with my existence. Wow, now that's something appropriate to lay on a twelve year old. Oh, and to top it off, she swore me to secrecy, because "people would look down on us" if they knew.

So, I tucked it away. I learned to hide the pain in the back of my mind, where it's stayed for all these years. But, I'm not gonna carry my mother's burden anymore. It's her dirty little secret, not mine and it's hindered me long enough.

I know that not knowing my father is part of who I am, and has shaped me in ways that I don't even realize. So my plan is to dig deep down and figure out exactly how it's influenced me. But, that'll be for another post; just admitting I'm a bastard is about all I can handle in one day.