Thursday, October 12, 2006

Bad Day

I had a major panic attack today. Brought on by a "dizzy spell," although I'd hardly call it that. Over the past week, I've been periodically feeling like and intensifying wave is sweeping through the back of my head and into my sinus cavity where it stops in a pressure packed, resonating hum. It's been freaking me out. But today, I went beyond freaking out.

I was positive this “sensation” was a tumor, crushing my brain. It wasn’t pretty. I was on the verge of hysteria; I had to be talked out of going to the hospital. I seriously thought the tumor was killing me right there and then.

I've since attributed it to a sinus/ear infection, although my heart's not truly in it. Oh, and the Beast (aka my manipulative, intrusive mom), announced that she's going to be "dropping by" this weekend. Seems like every time I think things are progressing, I get a smack in the face.


Dawn said...

Hi Leila,

thanks for pointing me to your blog,I love it. You have such a way with words, you really had me laughing. Not at you but at myself which felt really good after being so serious lately and depressed and crying and convinced I have a (another) horrible disease. Does the madness ever stop??
I can totally relate to your words.

Dawn said...

ps. i'm "scaredtoo" from Thats how we connected.

Leila V. said...

Thanks for visiting, glad you enjoyed! I always find it funny too, when I’m not dying, that is. Hope you come back again soon, I’d love to hear your thoughts...

Deb said...

I saw the link to this blog on the hypochondriac site. I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but I laughed and laughed while reading this. Not at your mental anguish, of course, but because I recognized myself so distinctly in your words. I have traveled down those same paths mentally. I know exactly where you are coming from. You are so not alone!!! Thank you for being so honest.