Monday, December 17, 2007

You Can Always Count on WebMD

It never fails! When I’m not surfing “It Which Must Not be Named” (read WebMD) on my own accord, that bastard site tracks me down and pumps the fear of god into me. We’re connected like Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort.

Now given, the connection could have something to do with me foolishly signing up to receive a newsletter from that ungodly organization, but is it really necessary to fill my inbox with subject lines that read “Are Your Arteries Headed for Disaster?” and “Sudden Death Gene Strikes Women Most.” No, I don’t think so.

So now, thanks to You Know Who, what started as a pleasant morning has turned into an afternoon obsession with atherosclerosis; apparently, America’s number one killer. And also thanks to You Know Who, things like: “Atherosclerosis is dangerous because it's so stealthy” and “Diseases caused by atherosclerosis also lead to chronic pain, kidney failure, blindness, and even impotence” and “Athero is linked to nearly 1 in 4 deaths in the United States” are running rampant through my mind!

So in the wonderful holiday spirit of giving, you too can get the shit scared out of you by clicking here.


Woolly said...

Got to love those diseases without symptoms. Here's hoping you avoid the attack of impotence.

I'd park the worry on that disease for another 20 years or so.

Sean said...

Yeah Leila, I'd hate to hear you ever have to battle impotence.

I had impotence once. I was faked impotence. Unfortunately I was 18 and no 18 year old is EVER impotent. Lousy lier that I was.

Leila V. said...

Rey was actually pulling for impotence, so I could score him some Viagra, (not that he needs it, yet).

Robert said...

As a minor hypochondriac - mostly ok, but give me a pain & I can imagine all sorts of ghastly outcomes... - I couldn't finish that article.

I get most of my hypochondriac thoughts at night. Is this common?

Btw, my father, who died a few years ago, had atherosclerosis. Had it for quite a few years - and it WASN'T responsible for his death. He died, I won't go there - you don't really want to know.

Anyhow, good to learn that your anxiety levels are low.

Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

Oh Christ on a unicycle! I should NOT have read that article! Now I think that's what I have!

Something else for me to freak out on when I'm supposed to be relaxing and going to sleep. Ha ha.

You should attempt to're still young. Me? I'm beginning to realize I am 'middle aged' and these 'things do happen' to people my age (and damn it, I think I am still young.)

But I know,I know....telling one of us hypos to relax is a stupid thing to do. Has the reverse effect, doesn't it?

All I can say is, happy holidays and take advantage of the eggnog.....if you think this season is going to kill you, you're sadly mistaken. It'll just go on and on and on.....


Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I hope that amid your suffering you can gain some benefit from knowing that your blog really lifts my (and many others) mood :)

Genuinely, thank you.

hertar said...

Yeah, mind is a powerful thing. I guess if you read my post about Choking Phobia and Fear there is a good chance you'll get obsessed with it for some time. I don't know what it takes but people like us should really consider changing our approach to life. We should just care about it less! Otherwise our obsessions will always control us and we will never enjoy it.