Friday, December 14, 2007

Front Lines

I didn’t have the chance to mention it, because I was obsessively cleaning my house for the last two weeks, but Rey graduated (with two B.A.’s) last weekend, and thirty of his out-of-state relatives were there to applaud him.

That means thirty of his relatives, including his neurotic dad, delusional sister, and super annoying, super tattooed cousin from SAN FRANCISCO were in my house; in my personal—but very clean space—at once. And despite all the anxiety I experienced leading up to the event, I must admit that I actually enjoyed it. I basked in the company.

It could’ve been the alcohol that made it more manageable, but I almost felt like my social anxiety was non-existent. No sweaty palms. No heart flutters. No blushing. No shaky voice. I did feel my ears turn red when Rey’s mom thanked me during her dinner toast, but aside from that, I was like a pro.

Now all that being said, I awoke the morning after they left with severe, right flank pain and met the following days with heart attack-like symptoms.

I’m thankful the social anxiety is at a low, but the hypochondria is suddenly at a high. One more thing I didn’t mention is The Beast and my brother are coming in to town and staying at my house for an entire week over Christmas; maybe that’s why I’m suddenly dying.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Leila,

Dooce and her commentators are offering comforting words about SSRIs today.
My opinion, for what it's worth, is that you probably don't need medication. You're still functioning well (work, relationship, having house guests for goodness sake) but as long as you don't rule them out if things take a turn for the worse.
The side affects are manageable or how would they sell so many prescriptions. Remember the people writing dreadful things about withdrawals etc. are, how do I put this nicely, CRAZY to begin with and have just gone off their medication. Uh, not the best time to be hearing their daily thoughts.

Good luck with your family over Christmas. Here's my family story. I went to my son's ballet show last night with my parents and just before it started my mother reminded me that my father, who has epilepsy, could have a seizure if there were strobe lighting effects. Of course there was a techno section and I freaked that he would set off in front of the ballet mom crowd. Luckily not.

woolly said...

Sorry that was me, not anonymous.

Leila V. said...

Woolly:
Thanks for pointing me to that post. I read Dooce regularly, but haven't been over there in a couple days. I'm definitely not anti-medication, I just want to make sure I really need it before I take it. Medication is over prescribed, in children and adults, but I won't go there.