Tuesday, June 08, 2010

State of the Union

Really, Internet? I dare to take a minuscule nine-month break from blogging, and upon my return I’m greeted with links to incestuous porn sites, propaganda for the Ohio Lottery, and a lot of 効率 的に優れている (which, I’m assuming, means cheap Viagra in Chinese)? Not exactly a proper welcome, if I do say so myself.

Although, I suppose there’s an argument that I deserve it. Running off like that! Without a word. Getting married. Having a child. Buying a house. And making a major career changing move. If that doesn’t earn me a little Megan-Fox-in-a-Bra-Spam, I don’t know what will.

Aside from Chron’s, the limp caused by my knee tumor, and my struggle with HPV; life these last couple months has been good.

In short (with details to follow, I promise (read maybe))…

  • The lovely and obnoxious Rey and I finally tied the knot. We eloped in Tahoe, Valentine’s Day weekend, then broke the news to our family with customized M&M’s. Needless to say, not everyone was amused.

  • I am pleased to announce that I am the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl named Ming. She is 20lbs 2oz with an incredible fawn coat and a penchant for eating toilet paper.

  • Behind the curve as usual, we bought a home; two blocks from our previous dwelling. And while one might think that that might make moving easier, one would be incredibly wrong.

  • Lastly, I accepted large bags of cash to leave my cushy job at America’s snobbiest law firm for a quasi-government job (and I'm kicking myself in the ass for it everyday).

So there you have it, nine months summed up in four bullet points. Who said life was too short?

To all of you who took the time to write, my apologies for being too rude (and drunk) to respond. For those of you who took the time to spam, this middle finger’s for you.


tournesol said...

Hi Leila,

Congrats on getting married! A little confused about Ming, baby or pet (fawn coat?)....glad to see you post, I always enjoyed reading your blog.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for coming back to lighten the load of anonymous hypochondriacs everywhere.


Anonymous said...

Glad to see your back! Maybe you wont stay gone as long this time lol..... Congrats on getting married!


Anonymous said...

That'll be Japanese Viagra ads for you my lady, Chinese characters don't have squiggly lines.

So good to see you back! Congratulations on getting married, though I am a little befuddled by the Ming comment as well. Either way, congratulations again!


Anonymous said...

Finally!!! I was beginning to feel like you were never coming back.

Insanitykim said...

Was thinking about you lately (I read your entire blog in one night like a year ago, and continue to check)glad to see you're back and congrats on all the new changes and the baby...deer?

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed reading your blog :)

K said...

I read your entire blog and I have to say, it's refreshing to find other hypochondriacs out there on the web.
I have read your tonsil posts over and over again because I may need mine removed. Goodness, you are so freakin brave for going through with that.

hypomama said...

Oh my gosh, I *love* your blog. I just started my own blog today just to write all my anxiety out, and it feels so much better! Thank you for writing about all of this--I can soooo relate! I'm hoping that starting Lexapro will help me with my hypo/cyberchondria.

Mama Kruse said...

You are GREAT!!! I haven't laughed that hard in a week!! Really cheered me up :) Especially since I have already had a Kidney Infection today that got into my blood stream - lol

hahabeatchahypochodria said...

could you please let me know if bogging actually helped you? is that why your not back as often. i just started my own blog and i want to know if i should expect it to work mini miracles on my messed up brain