Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

All I have to say is, this was me over the weekend (minus the testicular cancer and impotence, of course).

Instead of relaxing and enjoying my extra day off, I decided to skip from disease to disease. I’m not even gonna mention the particulars. Stroke, heart attack, blood clot, aneurism, collapsing throat, intestinal organs bursting etc.; all of which occurred sometime between 8:00 p.m. Sunday and Monday afternoon. Oh, and according to this self-assessment I'm also a narcissist and agoraphobe. Lovely..

All was going smoothly until the event that I had spent the last two weeks obsessing over ended. I’ve been wholly convinced that Rey’s parents’ overnight visit would be a complete disaster. I spent the entire week drilling myself: What if they’re not comfortable, what if I clam up, what if I talk too much, what if I’m not a good hostess, what will we eat, what if there’s one strand of cat hair in the spare bedroom, what if…? (As a side note - it’s not as if I haven’t spent countless hours with these people or they haven’t stayed at our house before).

My anxiety was to no avail, I handled the situation like a pro and commenced to dying the second they left. It made me think that maybe I’m not the introvert I make myself out to be. I actually enjoyed their company. Guess all those deaths were a way to make up for so many healthy hours.


Lacy said...

It's exhausting isn't it? Dying all the time...:P

Michelle said...

Actually, it is exhausting. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety every day of my life. This is the most REAL blog I have read ever.