Get 'em While They Last

West Nile and SARS, out.

Bird Flu, in.

I’ve had an increasing obsession with worldwide pandemic, lately. Instead of imagining just myself dying a horrible and painful death, I’ve been including the rest of humanity in my fantasies. Visions of plague and worldwide chaos follow me everywhere.

So when I just happened to cross WHO’s Pandemic Alert System this morning, I knew it was a sign from above. I was shocked to learn that we’re ranked at a level 3, out of 6, for the possibility of worldwide outbreak!

The culprit, you ask? Bird Flu, aka Avian Flu, aka H5N1.

As I continued to read, I realized my made up scenarios weren’t that far from reality. In the last century there were three influenza pandemics:

• 1918-1919: 675,000 U.S. deaths, 50 million deaths worldwide;
• 1957-1958: 70,000 U.S. deaths, 1-2 million deaths worldwide; and
• 1968-1969: 34,000 U.S. deaths, 700,000 deaths worldwide.

I can do the math! We’re past due! But there is hope: the Bird Flu suit and survival kit.

Rey doesn’t think they’re practical, but I’m no dummy. A couple hundred bucks is a small price to pay for oh, I don’t know...YOUR LIFE! Experts agree, "Pandemic influenza is not necessarily imminent, but … it is inevitable.”