Saturday, December 30, 2006

The Year in Diseases

Not to be all mushy about the new year, but as 2006 comes to an end, I couldn't help but look back on the blog and draw some conclusions about how the hypochondria is progressing. I was shocked. The amount of diseases I've been inflicted with over the year is tiring. And while I've only been blogging for five months, the majority of my ailments have ran their course during that time.

So, being the lovely list maker that I am, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to lay them out here...
  • Breast Cancer
  • Bird Flu
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Tonsillitis
  • Encephalitis
  • Appendicitis
  • Throat Cancer
  • Skin Cancer
  • MS
  • Throat Collapse
  • Lung Collapse
  • Lymph Node Malfunction
  • Tissue Degeneration of the Neck and Face
  • Acid Reflux
  • Sadistic and Sophisticated Sinus Infection
  • Pinched Nerve in the Elbow
  • Blood Clots
  • Eye Twitch (caused by Nerve Pathway damage)
  • Organ Combustion
The inumerous heart attacks, strokes, brain tumors and aneurysms must not be forgotten, and undoubtedly deserve to stand alone from the list - as it is they who have given me some of my best deaths.

And while I've been weak in succumbing to the imaginary illnesses, I feel I've progressed in two important ways.

The first, toning down the judgmental behavior. Instead of becoming infuriated by the actions of others, I look within myself and try to understand why their behavior upsets me. What I've found, more often than not, is the qualities that bother me most about others, are the same qualities that I dislike about myself.

The second, is the realization that I have control of myself and my emotions. Nothing else. That external factors don't control me. I control me. This is a tough one that goes back to the whole negative thinking routine, but I'm proud to report that things are progressing in this area.

These things may not seem hypochondria-related, but in the end, I think it will be baby steps like these that will lead to a hypochondria-free me.

Happy New Year and cheers to a healthy 2007. Let the binge drinking begin!


tournesol said...

Wow, that is some list.....I can say that, my own list reads alot like it. Exhausting isn't it? What if we spent that much thought and energy on something else? you know how some people hear a certain song, and remember something about there past, I can say, Oh Yeah, that was when I thought I was dying from,(insert disease). Funny AND sad! Happy New Year!

dave said...

I have to say that "Lymph Node Malfunction" and "Organ Combustion" are pure genius! I wouldn't have ever thought of those.